Life is a mother fucker.

The title of the blog is what I want to scream right now. Or not. Life is just so damn weird.

 

This morning I learned that a dear friend; a good soul, a funny, talented, caring human dear was gone from this plane. What?! Yep, gone.

 

Learning about a death thru social media is so interesting because there’s no one in front of you to open their arms while you begin to cry. So I didn’t cry. I did tear up and sniffle a bit. Then I bit my lip and went on about my day. I made a few posts and comments online. I texted a few friends I knew would want to know. Then I went on with my scheduled day.

 

I left the last meeting of the day and the thought came into my head, “David can’t be dead!” And the rest of my brain said, “No, he is dead.” And then I cried. I cried all the way to my car and cried all the way home.

 

Later, I went downtown to drop off a piece of art for a show. I visited some friends opening a new gallery.They knew David too, so we did hug and shed a few tears. Then I visited another gallery, hit the grocery and came home.

 

I did my social media duties… “The new gallery is awesome”   “Don’t miss the new show over there” “My friend , the artist is painting live over there ” and ” We all miss David at tonight’s festivities.”

 

And now here I am. With my joy over the new things happening, celebrating successes. And with my grief over the death of a friend.

 

I’m good at being this or that. But being both… happy and sad… that’s just weird. I guess there is a sense of balance in it. At any given point, life is neither all good or all bad. It’s really up to me to focus what I want to focus on.

 

So today I will say congrats to Grey, Khrysso, Linda and Patti on your new gallery opening. Kudos to Rhonda on an excellent show opening. Way to go, Jeffrey on a live piece of art.

 

And….god, I will miss my friend David Bowen, a kind, talented, sweet, cranky, good, fuckedup, and wonderful human being. Don’t worry David, someone will love Roxy. We will all miss you.

suni moon

Suni Moon is a writer, teacher, artist, musician, and healer exploring simple approaches to educate, calm. and inspire you to find your happy. Visit About page to learn more.

10 thoughts on “Life is a mother fucker.

  • September 2, 2017 at 12:22 am
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    I posted a few days ago “I don’t know why I look forward to checking FB. I keep finding such sad news.” The last 2 week s have been full of bad news. And now today another. I didn’t know David, just met him once, but I know many people who knew him and read his humorous comments on their posts. I’m sorry for the loss of your friend. I am sorry for the loss of many friends. Another reminder that we need to live every day as if it were our last. It just may be.
    Love you Su

    • September 2, 2017 at 12:40 am
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      I love you too Janey. I saw that post of yours. I also saw posts about birthdays and other love. I suppose the older we get, the more we need to learn about the balancing act. I’m sad and I’m happy… ugh. I know you’ve had some deep lessons in all this shit. Sending light and love to you and yours. Onward we go, hand in hand with hearts open. Or why else would we be here? 😉

      <3 <3
      <3

  • September 2, 2017 at 12:53 am
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    Su, I am so sorry for your loss. Life sure is full of fucked up shit. And yet we do go on somehow. Trying to find light and love can be hard. But we still do, every chance we get. Sending peace your way ❤️

    • September 2, 2017 at 2:22 pm
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      Yes, it’s full of shit and full of beauty. Guess I envision all the flowers and rainbows but when there’s a giant black hole existing perfectly well in the midst of it, I have to shake my head. I know that is life, yin and yang and all that. Just a weird reality check. God knows we’ve all had losses… and the challenge of life Is to grieve the loss and not miss smelling the roses along the path. Thanks so much for you kind wishes. <3

  • September 2, 2017 at 1:16 am
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    Thank you for this and for sharing your love on my post earlier. We always think we have more time to visit and spend time together. And then this happens again and we are reminded we don’t have that time.
    I love you Su. Sorry we missed an in person hug tonight at First Friday. ♡

    • September 2, 2017 at 1:52 am
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      thx, Zen. I know we do always think life will wander on… and it does. But changes come and sometimes it’s just such a kick in the gut. But love never dies and our memories are so sweet. Hope you all had a fun memorial First Friday. What a gem he was.

  • September 2, 2017 at 4:04 am
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    Your words really struck me tonight. I lost a dear theatre friend here in Vegas recently. Her roles had to be recast ( I took over 1 of them), and we are all dealing with her sudden death by keeping the “Show Must Go On” mindset. Work and rehearsals have kept me so busy, I hadn’t taken time to grieve. And, then at lunch today, I check Facebook and find out about David. And I was so shocked. My mind can’t wrap around all this. Reading your words tonight finally gave me the crying release I needed. I cried for Ingrid and for David. Such a loss of 2 very different, but 2 very sweet souls. I hope they meet in the after life and know how much they will be missed. Hugs and love to all ❤️☮️❤️

    • September 2, 2017 at 2:22 pm
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      Sending light and love to you and yours, Kim. The show must go on. The world will continue spinning. But taking our moments here and there to really feel can’t be pushed aside. <3

  • September 2, 2017 at 4:34 pm
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    At the very least, Su, we are in it together. That’s all I’ve got. Love passed all around.

    • September 2, 2017 at 4:58 pm
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      At the very least… and in all it’s magnificence, love is all we have. And it never dies. It’s just the damn bodies that give out but those spirits will be with us always.

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